Wanted

The hot, Yap sun was beginning to melt into the horizon as we loaded up the van for vespers—the last time, for a few of us.  As we were waiting for the rest of the group, 8 year-old Raijan, a faculty kid and my neighbor, asked me if I was really leaving tomorrow night.

            “Yes, I’m sorry, but I really am leaving, Raijan.”

            “But why do you have to leave?”  Raijan asked.
            “Because after all my trips, I’m running out of money.  I need to find a job that can help me pay my bills.”

            “I have some money I can give you!  Then can you stay?”  Raijan already seemed to know it wasn’t enough, but I played along, since I knew it came from his heart.

            “Hm, how much could you give me?”  He said a number that was under $10.00, and I told him that was so kind of him, and I really appreciated his generosity, but it wasn’t just the money.  My foot needed to heal, and because Yap is so hot, it made it swell up a lot, and made it harder for it to heal.

            “Well, when I grow up I’m going to be a scientist and I’ll invent a boot that you can put on your foot that would keep it cool, like a refrigerator!”  I could see the water coming to his eyes that he says shows up sometimes, even though he doesn’t know why.  He was working hard to think of any kind of solution to keep me as a neighbor.  We talked about what a great idea that was, and that if I could have an air-conditioned boot, it sure would help me in Yap.

            Being wanted feels so good.  When I left Yap, I hated the sadness of separation.  But knowing that I was wanted there made me feel so valued and appreciated.  Likewise, my parents really wanted me at home.  It does make it hard to feel loved and appreciated in more than one place, but it is better than not being wanted anywhere.  

I'm pretty sure that all of us just want to be wanted.