What Do You REALLY Need?
I wrote this about a month ago, but didn't feel like posting it at the time. I guess I'm ok with it now.
If I could have any super-power, it would be to see what people really need.
This afternoon, I hung out in my car a little too long outside my school in down-town Chattanooga, finishing some Taco Bell before class. I was just getting ready to go in when a woman came up to my car. I recognized her because she came up to my car a few weeks ago, asking for money for a bus fare, which I didn’t have. So today, as I talked with her, I already had a little bit of a bias, admittedly.
I rolled down my window in the rain, and she began her story…or stories, I should say. Complete with lots of tears and begging, showing me bills, her out-of-minutes cell phone, and even battle scars from her husband, supposedly. I didn’t have many words coming to my mind, so I just listened and looked into her eyes, trying to decide what to do. And what her real need was.
Usually in these circumstances, I don’t mind giving money or doing what I can, figuring it’s God’s business whether the money is used properly. But it is funny how sometimes it seems like God perhaps protects my money. I’d been meaning to put a $10 bill in my purse that I got this weekend, and I am sure I probably would have just given it to the lady today if I’d had it. (I also had that happen a few years ago, when I told a lady I would follow her to a gas station to put some gas in her car, only to get there and realize I didn’t even have my purse! She was pretty mad. ☺)
Finally, after the theatrics were dying down a bit, I asked her what she thought about me taking her to a grocery store (since she said she just needed some groceries and toilet paper so she could keep her kids), and I could buy her $15-worth on my card.
“How much?” she asked. I repeated the amount. I honestly couldn’t have made the amount much larger because I am pretty strapped myself, financially.
“Uh, well, would you mind maybe giving me a ride down-town to find a church or something that can maybe help?”
“Sure, I can do that.” So she climbed in and thanked me, and once again I inhaled the “smell of poverty”—basically a mixture of garbage and cigarette smoke, if you haven’t smelled it. As I was pulling out, she wondered, since I was willing to pay the $15 for groceries, if I might be able to pay the $25 bill she showed me so she could hook up her phone again. I told her I didn’t think that would work. She dropped it, and then thanked me again for the ride.
We didn’t talk about much on the short ride down McCallie. She asked if I went to church around here, and I told her “sort of…on the South side,” but was honestly hesitant to offer the name of my church for fear she’d try to show up there. (Terrible, I know.) She did guess I was a Seventh-day Adventist after I told her we met on Saturdays, but neither of us continued down that track. From there it was mostly about how things will hopefully look up for her next year…just got to finish off this bad one.
A few stop-lights down McCallie, around UTC, I pulled over to where she directed.
“Lord Jesus bless you. Thank you for your kindness. Pray for me today that I can find some help,” she said, and before I knew it she took my hand, kissed it, and was back on the street.
I didn’t have a warm fuzzy feeling after helping the lady, and neither did I feel guilty for not helping her further. Just sort of in the familiar quandary. How am I supposed to know if she really needs money, or if that is just making the real problem worse? Why would money for groceries change her life, and help her keep her kids? Why do I tend to be more cynical than compassionate, even as I want to help?
And the biggest question. What would Jesus do? I’ve always admired how Jesus knew what people REALLY needed. The paralyzed guy, for example. Everyone would have guessed he needed his legs back, but Jesus knew he really needed forgiveness. The leper and the unclean woman needed health, but what they really needed was human touch. Zacchaeus needed a lecture on ethics, but what he really needed was a friendly house-guest.
I wish I could look this woman, and so many like her, in the eye and know what she really needs. I guess I just have to do my best to listen to God in these situations, and try to follow what He says. I guess I don’t need to know everything. What I REALLY need is to know that God does.
If I could have any super-power, it would be to see what people really need.
This afternoon, I hung out in my car a little too long outside my school in down-town Chattanooga, finishing some Taco Bell before class. I was just getting ready to go in when a woman came up to my car. I recognized her because she came up to my car a few weeks ago, asking for money for a bus fare, which I didn’t have. So today, as I talked with her, I already had a little bit of a bias, admittedly.
I rolled down my window in the rain, and she began her story…or stories, I should say. Complete with lots of tears and begging, showing me bills, her out-of-minutes cell phone, and even battle scars from her husband, supposedly. I didn’t have many words coming to my mind, so I just listened and looked into her eyes, trying to decide what to do. And what her real need was.
Usually in these circumstances, I don’t mind giving money or doing what I can, figuring it’s God’s business whether the money is used properly. But it is funny how sometimes it seems like God perhaps protects my money. I’d been meaning to put a $10 bill in my purse that I got this weekend, and I am sure I probably would have just given it to the lady today if I’d had it. (I also had that happen a few years ago, when I told a lady I would follow her to a gas station to put some gas in her car, only to get there and realize I didn’t even have my purse! She was pretty mad. ☺)
Finally, after the theatrics were dying down a bit, I asked her what she thought about me taking her to a grocery store (since she said she just needed some groceries and toilet paper so she could keep her kids), and I could buy her $15-worth on my card.
“How much?” she asked. I repeated the amount. I honestly couldn’t have made the amount much larger because I am pretty strapped myself, financially.
“Uh, well, would you mind maybe giving me a ride down-town to find a church or something that can maybe help?”
“Sure, I can do that.” So she climbed in and thanked me, and once again I inhaled the “smell of poverty”—basically a mixture of garbage and cigarette smoke, if you haven’t smelled it. As I was pulling out, she wondered, since I was willing to pay the $15 for groceries, if I might be able to pay the $25 bill she showed me so she could hook up her phone again. I told her I didn’t think that would work. She dropped it, and then thanked me again for the ride.
We didn’t talk about much on the short ride down McCallie. She asked if I went to church around here, and I told her “sort of…on the South side,” but was honestly hesitant to offer the name of my church for fear she’d try to show up there. (Terrible, I know.) She did guess I was a Seventh-day Adventist after I told her we met on Saturdays, but neither of us continued down that track. From there it was mostly about how things will hopefully look up for her next year…just got to finish off this bad one.
A few stop-lights down McCallie, around UTC, I pulled over to where she directed.
“Lord Jesus bless you. Thank you for your kindness. Pray for me today that I can find some help,” she said, and before I knew it she took my hand, kissed it, and was back on the street.
I didn’t have a warm fuzzy feeling after helping the lady, and neither did I feel guilty for not helping her further. Just sort of in the familiar quandary. How am I supposed to know if she really needs money, or if that is just making the real problem worse? Why would money for groceries change her life, and help her keep her kids? Why do I tend to be more cynical than compassionate, even as I want to help?
And the biggest question. What would Jesus do? I’ve always admired how Jesus knew what people REALLY needed. The paralyzed guy, for example. Everyone would have guessed he needed his legs back, but Jesus knew he really needed forgiveness. The leper and the unclean woman needed health, but what they really needed was human touch. Zacchaeus needed a lecture on ethics, but what he really needed was a friendly house-guest.
I wish I could look this woman, and so many like her, in the eye and know what she really needs. I guess I just have to do my best to listen to God in these situations, and try to follow what He says. I guess I don’t need to know everything. What I REALLY need is to know that God does.
i agree, that super power would be beautiful. maybe that is what wisdom Solomon asked for. I will pray for you to get that for Christmas this year.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if we knew what people really needed if we'd be any better at doing it.
ReplyDeleteI once had a young cocaine addict, who looked like a college kid, brag to me that he could walk three blocks downtown and have made $50 hustling people by the end of his walk. It's amazing how many people in Chattanooga have a mother who just died of AIDS in Nashville or Knoxville, and they only need money for bus fair to go to the funeral. One guy wanted money to repair his tire, but had to search to find the vehicle when I asked to see it, and turned down my offer of using the foam patch in my trunk.
ReplyDeleteTheir real need was for the Savior. So, how many of us would take the time to get in relationship with them, then tell them about Him? I wish I had a better track record there...
Me too, Cathy. That is another thing I was bothered by. It seems like to know what the true need is, we are required to build that relationship. But how do we fit that in? We all have limits, and could not possibly build relationships with everyone who asks for money, and even when we do, there are no guarantees that they will want to invest with honesty. But you are totally right--it is Jesus they need the most. We can only pray He uses us in the way He wants to in their lives, and perhaps we can be part of the story in bringing them to Him.
ReplyDeleteI love it when blogs articulate thoughts of mine, especially when they do it way better than I would have, like this one does. Isn't true so often though, that a ride somewhere is a really huge need. We even leave Collegedale to go downtown to give rides...
ReplyDelete