When the World Caves In

 I've felt like writing for a long time. It's hard when time and inspiration don't match up like you wish they would. Life is busy no matter where I live, it seems. Life is also really weird no matter where I live. No matter where anybody lives right now. Maybe that's one reason I'm slow to write. How do you find words for times like these? We're all still living out this crazy dream, and it's sometimes hard to process things while you're still in the middle of it.

But now and then I think back to when it all started, at least here in the U.S., back in March. There was a line from a Switchfoot song from 2005 called "The Blues" that was stuck in my head for a few weeks:

"It'll be a day like this one

When the world caves in

When the world caves in"

I guess it was an appropriate song for the occasion. And kind of still is. I would definitely recommend a full listen.

It's interesting to think about what it means for the world to cave in. What is it that I'm holding on to that might make me wish for normal over caving in? What does hope look like here? What does a life of mission look like right now? How do you find the balance between planning ahead and taking it a day at a time? How do I keep from moving into survival mode and forget everyone else? How is all of this being experienced by everyone else?

These are just a few questions rattling around in my brain, along with a lot of mixed emotions that mostly stay in hiding, waiting for a safe time to come out in the open, I guess. If I pull out a flashlight in my soul, a few I can spot are fear, sadness, anticipation, wonder, curiosity, frustration, and suspense. I think, like anyone else, I want it to be over. The path to "over" I'm not so sure about, with a basic big picture of prophecy as I understand it. But I'm all about being on the other side of the world caving in.

Last week I heard a sermon about abiding in Christ. The pastor dove in a little deeper on the word "abide," with the idea that this was a true sense of finding home. Later I took some time to really reflect on what place comes to mind when I think of a nurturing, safe place where I felt unconditionally loved. I wasn't too surprised when my grandparents house showed up in my mind. With lots of hugs, laughter, good conversations, comfort food, and so many acts of kindness, it was a place I felt I belonged. I knew I was wanted. 

It's going down. The world is caving in. But that's not something to run away from, but run into, if you've got the right Friend with you. How do we emphasize the Friend so that there's hope in the caving in? I guess it's just finding that authentic, safe relationship yourself and living it out a day at a time in the middle of it all, in such a way that others feel that refuge just being near you. That's my daily goal for now in the caving in.