May 6

Somehow in the spring, when I look out side my window and see bright green leaves and the white dogwoods, even in the rain, I can't help but feel hope, even in a pretty dark world.  I guess it also helps that there are some positive changes on the horizon in my own life.  After spending almost a year at home (definitely a record since high school) while looking for full-time work, God has finally opened the door up to a job that seems to really fit my skills, background, and education.  The final "official" vote is supposed to happen May 1, but they've already given me a start date of May 6, so I think it's safe enough to share.  (If it falls through, for some reason, I'll let you know).

The job?  Helping to process paperwork for student missionaries and working on building resources and better care for returned student missionaries at the North American Division Office of Volunteer Ministries.  I'm not sure what the official title is, but that's what I hear I will be doing.  The idea started back in November of last year, but other than a few emails and prayers, I felt like it was a real long-shot.  But through a crazy encounter in January at Walla Walla University, during my last recruiting trip for Guam-Micronesia Mission, a burden growing on my heart, God taking me on a long journey of healing over the last 10 months, not to mention the last seven years journey of working in the mission-field and student missions...here I am, send me.


So I'll be moving up to Beltsville, Maryland in a few weeks.  Can't say I'm thrilled about the traffic and lifestyle of the "big city," but since I know God has called me, I know He will walk with me and
help me find peace in the middle of it all.  It seems like He's already provided a place to stay in a quiet neighborhood only a couple of miles away from my work, so I think He can take care of the rest as well.  I'm also thankful for the few friends I already know up there, and that it's still only a day's drive from home. :)

Thanks to those of you who have journeyed with me over the last several months through your prayers, encouraging messages or phone calls, or just reading this blog. I thought about writing some of the things I've learned through this job-hunting experience, but I think I already have in all these blog entries.  If I were going to summarize what I've learned that I anticipate will help me through the next transition as well, it would probably be:

1. Be anxious for nothing, but pray about everything.
2.  Hold on to hope through God's promises.
3.  Surrender to His timing.
4. Live life with an eternal perspective.

I've also learned a new compassion for those looking for work.  It can be kind of hard on your self-worth, and everyone has advice for you that may or may not fit.  It's hard to find a balance between taking initiative and waiting on God to lead.  It seems that people like to make hard and fast rules about this: "Just do something, anything.  God doesn't care so much about what you do as much as that you do it for Him."  Or "Just be still and wait.  God will show you when it's time to move."  I think there is truth to both, but it can get confusing, swinging back and forth on that pendulum of "it's all up to me" to "wait and do nothing."  For my own personal experience, it required much soul-searching and praying about what I enjoyed doing and what I cared about, waiting, applying for random jobs and realizing I didn't care about them at all, praying for the courage to share my idea once I had one, and trusting God to work out the rest.  A combination of my effort and God's direction.  But the truth is, it was a lot more about God's direction, and Him moving and me responding to His leading.  The point is, it was a personal journey with God, and it doesn't look the same for everyone.  Entrust others (or yourself) to His leading, rather than trying to "fix it." 

But seriously, the number one thing I learned is that I don't know a lot.  Only God does.  And it saves you a lot of time and hassle to leave things with Him instead of worry about it.  I'll come back and read this in a few weeks when I'm freaking out about moving. :)


"But I am trusting You, O Lord, saying 'You are my God!  My future is in Your hands.'"  
Ps. 31:14, 15