The Illusion of Control

Control is an illusion.  I thought maybe that was an original idea (as if that is possible these days) until I read it in Wikipedia.  A psychologist named it, but other psychologists have disagreed on whether this is positive or negative force in our lives--though most recently, they think it's "life-sustaining" and good for your mental health.  It's also weaker in depressed people, which I suppose just means people who are depressed are living closer to reality, but that doesn't exactly make them happy or healthy.

I suppose the idea that control is an illusion can also be quite scary if you think no one is in ultimate control.  If we do think Someone else is in ultimate control,  we might get mad that He isn't doing things the way we want Him to--although that just means we wish we were in control of Whoever is in control, which would mean He wasn't really in control.  Yes, there is also a whole side of living in a world of sin, which muddies things a bit.  But I like the idea of Someone who is in control, even if I don't understand everything that happens.  Because sometimes things happen in a good way, and I definitely wasn't in control of that either.

A few days ago I drove down to Atlanta to catch a flight to D.C. for a job interview.  I parked at a hotel parking lot (cheaper than the airport long-term parking, for the record), and took their shuttle to the airport.  I guess I was kind of nervous and tense, and was quite focused on getting out my dollar to tip the driver when he got my bag out for me.  He quickly handed it to me, and he gratefully took my dollar.  Then I made a beeline to the security line.  I wasn't late, but I would be if I didn't get a move on, and thankfully I'd checked in ahead of time and only had carry-on luggage.  I was about two people away from the TSA officer who was checking airline tickets and I.D.'s when I looked down and noticed the tag on my bag looked different.  I checked the front. I didn't think my bag was Samsonite.  I checked the top pocket in unbelief...a couple of pens.  Nope, I did not bring any pens.  This was not my bag!  AAAAHHHHH!  PANIC!  At least on the inside, but of course, I calmly got out of line and walked back to the Delta ticket agents, because everyone who'd gotten off the shuttle was going through Delta. I looked around for anyone who looked like they were panicking about a bag too.  Nope.  So I dug out the number of the hotel to see if anyone had called about a bag mix-up, and they put me on eternal hold.  I ran outside to where I'd gotten off the shuttle, then back into the airport.  And let me tell you, I was praying.  And I was not in control of the situation at all.  I'd checked for i.d. on the bag, and there was nothing.  I peaked inside the suitcase to see if there was a name anywhere, and only found the pens, some men's health magazines, and some loosely packed men's clothes.  Finally, I figured I should just find a Delta ticket agent and see if anyone had reported it, but was still at the point of looking around in a lost kind of daze, trying to figure out who to talk to, when I looked across and saw a guy waving at me.  I recognized him from the shuttle as the same guy who I'd overheard was going to Chad, Africa.  I'd wondered when I saw the AirFrance on the suitcase if it belonged to him.  I ran over to ticket desk where he was.  The ticket agent said they'd paged my dad (since that was the only i.d. I had on the bag, thanks to my dad putting it on there last-minute), so they were surprised to see me show up.  Oh man.  So close.

Was I in control at all?  No.  Was the other guy?  No.  We did things that we thought might help the situation--called, paged over the sound system--but really, those things didn't help.  It was simply looking at the right place at the right time.  I had no control over that.  But I think Someone did.  And I think the same Someone (God, in case you were wondering) might have helped my flight be delayed so that I could easily make it, even with the bag mix-up.  And the same Someone led me to D.C. for an interview for a job that completely fits my experiences and gifts and truly feels like a calling.  And the same Someone will help me trust and wait until it's all settled, and when it is, to do a job that is probably too big for me.  Or at least bigger than I can control.

As usual, it comes down to surrender.  The funny thing is, we think we're giving up control.  But really, we're just giving up the illusion of control, and gaining a whole lot of peace by trusting that Someone else really is. 

"It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the Lord Almighty."  Zech. 4:6

"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps."  Prov. 16:9