Stuff I Thought About
Well, after much deliberation, consideration, concentration, and meditation (the good kind)...I've decided to go home until the rainy season is over. I'm leaving Guam tomorrow (Sunday) and returning to Yap on January 18.
These last few weeks have been very interesting. Not sure how to describe it accurately, but I definitely had a lot of time to think. I guess some of things I thought about were:
1. How I often make my relationship with God dependent on other people. I have to have something to give to them, so that is why I go to Him. Rather than going to God without an agenda, just to enjoy His presence, and letting that time in His presence naturally overflow in my life.
2. When other people are in crisis, I go to God right away. When I am in crisis, I put Him on the back burner and try to get through it alone. How does that makes sense?
3. I can SAY I trust God all I want, but at the end of the day, if I'm still worrying, I obviously am not really trusting Him. It's like I was just explaining to Lorraine the other day: I can say I trust a chair, but if I won't sit in it cause I'm afraid it will break, I obviously don't really trust it. If I really trust it, I'll sit. If I really trust God, I'll quit worrying. Eventually, I learned a little more how to do that this week!
4. I realized again that Jesus knows me and loves me exactly how I am, and draws me in to help me become who He really made me to be. And it's amazing to really look again at who He is--who He was when He was on earth, and what that means to me now. I'm really thankful for a refreshed attitude toward Jesus. I really needed it. I really need Him.
5. My wisdom is so limited. So thankful God promises to give us wisdom when we need it.
There were more thoughts, but that's most of it. So here's to following Jesus wherever He takes me! (Even if I feel like a ping-pong ball sometimes. :) If you're at home, hope to see you around in the next few months.
These last few weeks have been very interesting. Not sure how to describe it accurately, but I definitely had a lot of time to think. I guess some of things I thought about were:
1. How I often make my relationship with God dependent on other people. I have to have something to give to them, so that is why I go to Him. Rather than going to God without an agenda, just to enjoy His presence, and letting that time in His presence naturally overflow in my life.
2. When other people are in crisis, I go to God right away. When I am in crisis, I put Him on the back burner and try to get through it alone. How does that makes sense?
3. I can SAY I trust God all I want, but at the end of the day, if I'm still worrying, I obviously am not really trusting Him. It's like I was just explaining to Lorraine the other day: I can say I trust a chair, but if I won't sit in it cause I'm afraid it will break, I obviously don't really trust it. If I really trust it, I'll sit. If I really trust God, I'll quit worrying. Eventually, I learned a little more how to do that this week!
4. I realized again that Jesus knows me and loves me exactly how I am, and draws me in to help me become who He really made me to be. And it's amazing to really look again at who He is--who He was when He was on earth, and what that means to me now. I'm really thankful for a refreshed attitude toward Jesus. I really needed it. I really need Him.
5. My wisdom is so limited. So thankful God promises to give us wisdom when we need it.
There were more thoughts, but that's most of it. So here's to following Jesus wherever He takes me! (Even if I feel like a ping-pong ball sometimes. :) If you're at home, hope to see you around in the next few months.
Wow, big thoughts here. I know you're still recovering, but we caught up with the Tre's if you wanna spend a weekend with us sometime :)
ReplyDeleteI hope to see you. I'm not positive our paths will cross, but I can hope.
ReplyDeleteMy "to do" list is starting to shorten. I picked up a printed e-mail with your name as the header last Thursday. It read: notes on the year. You make places and people rich, kind of like Joseph. Thanks