Water-Walking
When I was about five, we had a big hot tub. It sat in our garage, and when we lifted the garage door, we had a great view of the Colorado Rockies. I loved swimming around in it, jumping out and rolling in the snow, and jumping back in. I didn't even have to wear my life jacket because it was shallow enough I could touch the bottom with my head out of the water.
One day, after hearing the story about Peter walking on the water, I decided I wanted to try it out. After all, Jesus helped Peter do it; why couldn't He help me do it? I stood at the top step and studied the smooth water. I imagined what it would be like, walking across that glassy surface with my bare feet. It seemed so simple.
I took a step. SPLASH.
Hmm. Well, maybe I'll try it again. SPLASH.
And again. SPLASH.
And again. SPLASH.
This wasn't as easy as it sounded. Suddenly I had a lot more respect for Peter and Jesus' walking on the water. No matter how many times I tried and fell, for some reason, I just thought that it might work the next time. Or maybe some day, maybe when I was older.
The funny thing is, even though I remember being somewhat disappointed, I wasn't crushed. I really believed it could happen somehow, but I just couldn't do it right now.
I guess that's the faith of a child. Why do I have such a hard time believing like that now? Just because God doesn't answer in the way I want, at the exact time that I want, in a way I can understand right now--SPLASH--I give up. Maybe I have something figured out wrong. SPLASH. I must not understand this passage of Scripture right. SPLASH. Maybe I should just pray for general things, so I don't have to set God up to disappoint me with His answer. Or I'm afraid He will answer and then what? Or maybe He'll just stay silent? SPLASH. I'm tired of getting wet.
But I also forget all the times God HAS answered prayer. I've seen Him work miracles and change lives. I've seen Him work things out in my own life in amazing ways. But for some reason, those aren't the things I tend to think about when the current challenge stares me in the face. The water doesn't look glassy any more, and it's sure to be a cold and maybe dangerous place I fall into if God doesn't come through. How do I have that faith again? That trusts that it will be worth the risk--even if it hurts.
Lord, give me the faith of Water-Walkers. To be ok with not understanding how it all works. To keep believing, even when I get wet. To keep trying again and again, knowing it will be worth it. And to one day realize that this dream of faith, planted by Jesus, is coming true when I find myself...
...walking on water.
One day, after hearing the story about Peter walking on the water, I decided I wanted to try it out. After all, Jesus helped Peter do it; why couldn't He help me do it? I stood at the top step and studied the smooth water. I imagined what it would be like, walking across that glassy surface with my bare feet. It seemed so simple.
I took a step. SPLASH.
Hmm. Well, maybe I'll try it again. SPLASH.
And again. SPLASH.
And again. SPLASH.
This wasn't as easy as it sounded. Suddenly I had a lot more respect for Peter and Jesus' walking on the water. No matter how many times I tried and fell, for some reason, I just thought that it might work the next time. Or maybe some day, maybe when I was older.
The funny thing is, even though I remember being somewhat disappointed, I wasn't crushed. I really believed it could happen somehow, but I just couldn't do it right now.
I guess that's the faith of a child. Why do I have such a hard time believing like that now? Just because God doesn't answer in the way I want, at the exact time that I want, in a way I can understand right now--SPLASH--I give up. Maybe I have something figured out wrong. SPLASH. I must not understand this passage of Scripture right. SPLASH. Maybe I should just pray for general things, so I don't have to set God up to disappoint me with His answer. Or I'm afraid He will answer and then what? Or maybe He'll just stay silent? SPLASH. I'm tired of getting wet.
But I also forget all the times God HAS answered prayer. I've seen Him work miracles and change lives. I've seen Him work things out in my own life in amazing ways. But for some reason, those aren't the things I tend to think about when the current challenge stares me in the face. The water doesn't look glassy any more, and it's sure to be a cold and maybe dangerous place I fall into if God doesn't come through. How do I have that faith again? That trusts that it will be worth the risk--even if it hurts.
Lord, give me the faith of Water-Walkers. To be ok with not understanding how it all works. To keep believing, even when I get wet. To keep trying again and again, knowing it will be worth it. And to one day realize that this dream of faith, planted by Jesus, is coming true when I find myself...
...walking on water.
"'Lord, if it’s you,' Peter replied, 'tell me to come to you on the water.'
'Come,' he said."
Matt. 14:28, 29
I wish there was a place to give out awards for well-written blogs, because surely this post deserves one.
ReplyDeleteYou have such a courageous spirit.
ReplyDeletePS on a silly note my verification word was empitypo hahahaha!
Kessia..your blogs always deserve awards. :) Sonya, I think you have a more courageous spirit.
ReplyDelete