Musical Conflict Resolution

I've been thinking about a lot of hard things tonight.  There are certain things that seem to bring up losses and pain of the past, no matter how much I want to forget it and move on.  It's a painful world, and pain remembers pain.  Still, I see how God has been my constant Companion through every part of the journey, teaching me, guiding me, growing me.  I wasn't actually thinking specifically about conflict resolution issues, but it does provide an example of one way God taught, guided, and grew me in a painful moment.

The mission-field is not nearly as romantic as it sounds.  Adventurous--yes.  Unpredictable--definitely.  Idealistic "Mission Spotlight" moments--rarely.  To be honest, spiritual warfare is quite common, and the battle can get pretty intense.  Prayer and faith become non-negotiable life-savers,  even during seasons when God can seem quite distant.  The uncomfortable lifestyle you can get used to.  Illnesses and injuries are like taking bullets for the team.  But conflict with the people around you?  Somehow you never see it coming.  That is not supposed to be part of the deal.  Christians are supposed to all be on the same team, right?  Especially in the mission-field.  This is not America, where churches argue about the color of the carpet or music styles.  This is the real front-lines, and we have more important issues to deal with.  We need each other.  Right?  What do you do when criticism and backstabbing become commonplace, and feelings are hurt so often that bitterness begins encrusting hearts and building walls and threatening the effectiveness of "the mission?"

In one of my mission experiences, I learned a deep and valuable lesson on dealing with offenses among the family of God.  A discussion was held during a worship service, and a church leader said some things, which I am sure he regretted later, that devalued and undermined the work of the missionaries.  Even though we knew it did not represent the opinion of the majority, we were hurt and angry that after all we had done in serving as volunteers, that this was how we were viewed by someone in leadership.  We were tired and vulnerable, nearing the end of our mission term that had been extra challenging that year.  Other church members were also upset, and even in the discussion, there was much defensiveness and tension. Some came to us later to apologize on his behalf, and to let us know that they really did appreciate our efforts.  That was very kind, and it helped. But the best lesson I learned was much deeper and long-lasting.

Later that week, a church member came to visit us--an island father, and the most gentle giant that you would ever meet.  His weapon of warfare is his guitar, and most of his words come in the form of songs.  He took a few of us aside that evening, under the guise of practicing a song for special music for the next church service.  We relaxed with the cool breeze and beautiful view as we practiced the song together. And then he began giving us lyrics for a few other songs, and sang them to us, one by one, always inviting us to join in.  They were old songs--some were religious, some were not--but they spoke to our hearts in a way that no sermon ever could.  Through that music, a few short words, and a prayer of blessing over us, he affirmed us and our ministry in that place in a way I will never forget.  As powerful as the negative words were, the Holy Spirit's power through this man was much greater.

That day I learned that though there are many good strategies for resolving conflict, there is nothing greater than the Holy Spirit's presence.  You don't need to worry about having the perfect words or how to properly express emotions.  A simple person using whatever gifts they have, surrendered to and empowered by the Holy Spirit, can change hearts and minds and bring peace that is not dependent upon the actions or reactions of others.  It's a quiet confidence that says: "God is in control.  He loves you.  Trust Him with all of it."  And though it sounds simplistic, I don't know how else to explain it.  But I am pretty sure you will recognize it when you see it.