Sin vs. GPS

Sin--we are all supposed to be struggling with it. Sinners--this is supposedly our identity. But am I the only one who has sometimes asked God to forgive my sins, but am not quite sure what they are? I know sin is bad. I know I make mistakes. But are my mistakes sin? When I take the wrong exit or write the wrong answer on a test, is that a sin? Or does it not qualify as sin until I'm frustrated with someone, maybe a sarcastic remark, or an impatient roll of the eyes. Yeah, these are probably sins, yet so easily justified, it hardly seems worth confessing, really. But the point is, I'm not doing so bad, am I? Not off doing those really bad things that would make my parents worry or turn me into a statistic of "youth leaving the church."

But if I don't have sin, apparently I have no use for the Gospel. I don't need a Savior if I don't have any sin. So either I have not had a very good understanding of sin, or else the message of Christianity does not really apply to "good Christian people." (Or maybe both?)

In one of my classes this semester, I've been getting a more graphic, realistic picture of what sin is. And I AM a sinner, boy-howdy! Rather than sin being a particular bad deed in the sight of others, or even something that makes me feel guilty, I can be guilty of sin without even knowing it. What is sin? Sin is saying, I want it my way. I'm doing just fine without you, God, and I know how to do it myself. I can fix my own problems. If you just give me enough time, enough intelligence, enough solitude, enough friends, enough money or power, enough whatever I think I need to order my world...I can make my life work, all by myself, thank you very much. Sin is willfulness...as opposed to willingness. Sin is separateness from God and others...as opposed to unity with God and others. Sin is independence from God...rather than dependence on God. Any time I make a choice to structure my world my own way, even in an attempt to protect myself, I step away from God's will. And stepping away from God's will is...sin.

The cool part is that now, once I know I'm a sinner, the Gospel sure looks a lot more awesome! I realize my desperate situation without Him. I realize how addicted I am to protecting myself, ordering my own world, demanding my own way--and I need the miracle of sanctification to set me free. I need the Spirit of Jesus in me every day, every second, to teach me, to do it for me and with me. The One who conquered sin is on my side, so there is no need to fear. And a lot of need to celebrate!

On my 34 hours of solo-road-tripping this weekend to visit friends in Michigan, I was very grateful for a last-minute-borrowed GPS. I am a rare female, perhaps, in that I don't stop for directions. Yes, I would actually rather wander around for a few hours acting like I know what I am doing and show up late somewhere than ask for help. So using a GPS is like admitting defeat before I even get started. However, cities like Chicago and Milwaukee, and several bouts of construction detours won me over--this time. Since I knew I was bringing the GPS, I did not place a high priority on bringing an Atlas. This was fine, in theory, except that it forced me to trust the GPS with my life. I am much more of a big picture person. I like to see all the highways ahead of time, know all the numbers to look for, and follow the signs, the good old-fashioned way. But with the GPS, there were several times it would tell me to turn where I was not expecting to turn. Why were we getting off the exit in Milwaukee? Couldn't we just stay on the safe freeway? Are you sure you know what you're doing?! I asked the machine repeatedly over the trip. Thankfully, it has no feelings and cannot be offended by my distrust. And thankfully it is flexible when I mess up and miss a turn. Rather than tell me--Forget it. You do it your way, then. Get lost! See if I care!--it "patiently" re-routes me to get back on track, or find a different way from wherever I am.

So many times I question God with where He is taking me. I want to do things my way--the way that feels right to me, keeps me comfortable. I am constantly asking, God, are you SURE you know what you're doing?! And thankfully, God just puts up with it. And when I pursist on going my own way, He doesn't give up. Like a patient Shepherd, He leads me back to the right path from wherever I am. I can either fight against Him, willfully, independently, separately--and find my own path (to destruction). Or I can surrender willingly, dependently, united--and walk with Jesus, even when it takes me where I least expect, knowing the destination will make it all worth it.

I think sin is over-rated. I'll go with God's Positioning System.