Celebrating the Fourth Decade

This Fall I dived into the fourth decade of my life, so naturally it was an opportunity to contemplate and celebrate life.

As for contemplating, I'll just summarize with a few lessons that rise to the surface, especially this year:

• I have a choice to listen to the voice of shame or the voice of compassion throughout my days, and I want to choose compassion.
• Jesus is the Voice of Compassion in my heart--He's lifted every burden and invited me to walk freely and lightly with Him.
• Social media addiction, however "mild," is hard on the spiritual life and emotional growth.
• God is so good. I never walk alone.
• Each season has something new.
• So thankful for the way God has brought people into my life from so many backgrounds and cultures. These friendships have enriched my life.
• It's not any easier to be single at this stage in life, but I'm seeing clearly these days that it's not necessarily easier to be married either.

On that note, let's talk about the celebrating. I definitely recommend spreading out the celebration throughout the year to help soften the blow. In case you need some ideas, here's what I did.

The celebration kicked off in July when I visited my friend Arlene in southern California to celebrate both of our Fall birthdays a few months early. My friend since 3rd grade has had a rough go the last few years, but still seriously has the gift of celebration. Our first event was indoor skydiving, which was pretty much one of the most awesome things I've tried, even if you do feel a little beat up afterward from all that wind punching your body. Other things included a dress-up photo trip to a historical art museum on the coast, pedicures, neighborhood pool time, local tourist attractions, food/dessert tour, a family dinner, a few movies, and of course, birthday cake.

Next was the day before my birthday--the official birthday party. Couldn't have asked for anything better with extended family and a few friends gathered in a beautiful backyard late on a warm Sunday afternoon, a sparkly "40" tiara and sash, some Thai food and cake, gifts, and some tunes in the background from the Spotify playlist I invited friends online (and in-person) to contribute to for my birthday. It was classic and perfect.

That night, my parents and brother and sister-in-law gathered online since we had decided it wasn't a great time of year for them to visit for my birthday. They took turns affirming me in really sweet, specific ways, and closed off the time with a video of pictures from my life that my parents had worked pretty hard on all day. So grateful for my family.

The day itself was good too, with some flower deliveries and plenty of college students wishing me happy birthday and telling me how young I look (and yes, I do approve their time cards).

Finally, my 40 year-old dreams came true when my family gathered the week of Thanksgiving to celebrate my birthday with me in person for a few days at Rosario Beach Marine Lab, one of my favorite places in the PNW. But let's back up a minute to that moment, soon after picking up my brother and sister-in-law, when we sat down at an Ethiopian restaurant with all of my favorite smells and flavors. I hadn't eaten Ethiopian food since before the pandemic in Maryland. I have been missing it so much, and it was fun to share it with my family.

The first day at Rosario, the weather was surprisingly perfect. We took advantage and hiked around the nearby state park, and it meant even more that my family hiked as far as they did just for me, since only about two of us actually enjoy hiking. (Not that I enjoy people suffering for me, but I appreciated the effort and especially enjoyed the moments of beauty they got to see before they were over it haha). We finished off the night with a special birthday cookie "ceremony" and some good conversation, as well as heading down to a darker beach nearby to check out the Dinoflagellates (bioluminescent algae/plankton) and watched them sparkle in the waves and the sand. 

The second day was a little rainier, but that didn't bother our plans too much. We boarded a ferry for Friday Harbor on Orcas Island and I got to relive my PNW middle school memories, drinking hot chocolate and playing Dutch Blitz, talking, watching the San Juan islands appear and disappear in the mist, and letting the wind and rain gently wash my face and soul standing out on the deck. (I even saw a sea lion once!) At Friday Harbor, we walked around a bit, tasted some hot beverages, ate some hot Mexican food, and checked out a few shops for a few hours before boarding for the return trip to Anacortes. Although we were tired, we finished the day with some hot soup and a few games.

Whether it's consolation or celebration, it's been fully worth the time and money to embrace 40, and I'm so grateful to God for His care, and for people in my life that have shared the journey, supported, prayed, comforted, and cheered me on to this new milestone of life.