Breathe Now

Moving feels a little like jumping into cold water. You anticipate with some nervousness the sensation you’re about to experience. But you also think of the joy of a refreshing swim after the initial shock. Then it’s time to jump, you’re leaping through the air in a few seconds of glorious neither-here-nor-there. And then...you splash in and under and deeper into the cold water in a long moment of disorientation. It’s really not long in the big picture of things, but feels like forever. Thoughts are racing: 

Shocking change of temperature 

Where is the surface—the sun, the air?

I can’t hear the voices of encouragement, muffled by swirling water.

Will I sink? Or will I swim?

When will I be able to breathe again?

That’s when I hear God’s voice inside me, in the middle of the chaos all around me. He says, “Breathe.”

But if I breathe now I’ll drown! I have to get to the surface first!

He says, “Breathe now.”

I’m trying to understand...And then I remember the scuba regulator in my mouth, connected to life-giving oxygen. I don’t have to hold my breath or count the seconds until I can get back to the surface. I can handle the chaos with calm with a deep inhale and a bubbly exhale. And then again. 

The Spirit gives life. God is my air. I can breathe anywhere as long as I am connected to Him. Things will probably get back to feeling a little more normal at some point, hopefully, but in the meantime all I have to do is trust Him, stay connected to Him, and one day at a time keep breathing, and keep swimming. It’s likely I’m about to see a whole underwater world I’d never imagined, and the sooner I start breathing, the sooner I can enjoy it.