What I Learned in Cambodia - Trust

The long-anticipated trip to Cambodia to visit my friend Sonya has come and gone, and I now have more stories, photos, lessons, and jet-lag. Due to the jet-lag, I'm going to have to break up this trip review into several episodes. 

Episode 1: Trust

When I left for Cambodia, I was praying for a few things. One was safety, of course, although I had no idea how much I actually needed to pray for that until I experienced my first intersection on the back of Sonya's scooter. The second thing I prayed for was basically God's presence. I guess I thought that meant something like some deep, spiritual conversations with random strangers, which never happened. What it meant, instead, was an experiential course in...

Trust. Even before my friend picked me up from the airport, I realized my complete dependence on her, but it wasn't until I got there that I began to understand what that meant. Here are a few things that Sonya knew that I did not:

• Where we needed to go and how to get there
• How much things cost (or should cost)
• How to communicate in Khmer (enough to get by)
• How to walk across the street
• Who to acknowledge and who to ignore
• Where to eat or not eat
• How to drive a scooter
• What to wear and how to prepare for the day
• Our activity options for the day

For the most part, I learned to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. (Amazingly, even on the back of the scooter in Phnom Penh traffic.) I didn't feel like I had to stress about all that I did not know, because I knew Sonya had it covered. When we needed to cross a busy street or intersection packed with all manner of moving vehicles, I learned not to even look at what was going on around me--but just to watch Sonya and walk when she did. I'm not sure she knew that, but it worked for me. Otherwise, I would have likely been distracted by the chaos around me, faltered, and probably gotten run over. Only half-joking.

Trusting made the trip more fun, less stressful, and helped me be able to soak in the rich experience constantly happening around me. But there were times when I struggled. I got tired of not knowing what was going on or if I was doing the right thing. Constantly relying on someone else for nearly every decision eventually got a little old. I wished for a familiar setting where I was the expert, independent and in control. I knew I couldn't even pretend that was true in this strange, new world--but I just wanted a break from being so dependent and surrendering my entire experience into the hands of someone else. As I pondered this struggle, I recognized the root of my problem was pride. And I also discovered the antidote was asking God for humility. Choosing humility gave me the freedom to trust once again.

Obviously, this wasn't just about trusting people. It was an experiential life course on what trusting Jesus so completely might look like and feel like in my life. It can look a bit like:

• allowing Him to translate for me so I can better communicate with people I don't understand.
• having peace that He will carry me safely through the chaos all around me to the destination He knows is best for me.
• finding that the joy of the journey with Him is replacing the fear of possible future pain.
• the confidence of knowing He will provide, especially when my strength is gone.
• knowing He always has enough to cover my needs.

There's a lot more to keep processing on this one, but for now, I'm asking Jesus to help me not worry about the craziness around me, but to help me keep my eyes on Him, follow close behind Him one step at a time, and allow Him to teach me the humility that makes this journey of trust possible.