You Don't Have to Read This

Recently I've realized that I too often filter my thoughts through the lens of potential blogs and status updates.  And I've realized that it really narrows my creativity, because before I am even able to give expression to those thoughts, I've already thought of the criticism, the potential interpretation, who could be offended, who could misunderstand.  And so the thought morphs into something more pleasing.  It's still honest, it's just been filtered.  The real problem isn't so much about being appropriate with what I share, but arranging my world so that it subconsciously revolves around surface, censored sharing.  I guess it's not always surface, but it seems like the times that it's not are the times I second-guess what I've shared.

The point is, I'm taking a break.  The last few days I've been hand-writing a few journal entries in an old notebook that I found in the attic at home that used to belong to my brother.  (I just ripped out the pages of old high school class notes, and enjoy the front cover decorations that include how awesome he is and several examples of his signature.)  Anyway, it's been fun to "free-write."  Not just because it frees up my "writers block," but because it actually once again becomes a way to process in the moment, without filtering as I go.  It's freeing.

Don't worry I'll be back, probably before I mean to be.  But I do recommend finding a place to express yourself in some way without the pressure to "share."  It might be good for you too.